TEENS & SEX

             Something that has been on my mind lately is talking to our teens about sex. 

I really think if I would have had parents that did not make that subject taboo many of these things would not have happened in my life.  Do not get me wrong I would not trade meeting my two angels even for a short time was a blessing. 

A lot of my pain could have been stopped if I understood the consequences for having sex and when my parents knew I was having sex they would have talked to me about it, instead of looking away.  I bring this up because I have thought of talking to teens and their parents.  Sometimes I think the focus is on the girls, but I think that some of the responsibility should be put in the parents and the boy’s hands.  The following is how I would approach the subject; it is not an absence talk but a use your brain talk.  This is just been floating in my head and needed to get it out.  Let me know what you think. 

TAKE 24 – Take 24 hours to make that decision.

For Teens – Boys and Girls:

Do not put yourself in situations where sex could happen. 

Date in groups and go on dates in public places, go out for supper, a movie, bowling or even a school dance.

In the moment, if you are kissing and things are getting intense when you have butterflies in your stomach.  Slow down take breathe and ask the person to wait 24 hours.  If they do not want to wait then they are not worth having sex with.  They should want to do what you want to do.  Kiss, hold hands, cuddle and hug are all options that you can do without having sex.

During the 24 hours  

ü  Think; think about why you want to have sex with this person. 

ü  Ask yourself do I really know this person?

ü  What is his first, last and middle name?

ü  Ask yourself any other questions you think you should know about the person?

ü  If we wait would that be a bad thing?

ü  What if I got a disease? How would that affect my life?

ü  Can I talk to my parents about birth control?

ü  Do I have protection?

ü  What would happen if we got pregnant?

Boys:

·         Would I stay and raise this child?

·         If not do I want to be stuck with child support for the rest of my life?

·         If I stay to raise the child how would I do that?

Girls:

·         Am I ready to be a mom?

·         Do I even know what that means?

·         What is it I want out of life?

·         Is he going to stay with me?

Can you answer any of these questions honestly?  If not, it is not the right time to have sex?  Waiting to make sure the time is right is important with many things, and sex is one of them. 

·         You wait to learn how to drive, you have to be able to control the vehicle and there are safety precautions to protect you. 

·         Parents did not leave you home until the right time and you were old enough to be safe at home by yourself. 

·         You wait to get married until it is the right time. 

·         You wait to have a baby until it is the right time.

·         So wait to have sex until it is right.

If you are thinking yes it is time. Before you go jump in bed talk to your parents and have the discussion. 

 Parents and Adults:

                Do not make this subject taboo.

                Have an open door and open mind policy.  As the adult in the situation the way we react is what is going to affect their decision.  Listening to our children and being understanding, asking the questions that they should be asking themself in a non-judgmental way.  We already raised our children and do not want to have to raise theirs.  So the way you approach this is going to make all the difference.